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"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27)

Easter is coming! The most wondrous time of the year, the time of new life, new hope, a new beginning! His death, burial and resurrection are the dearest of all celebrations to me, the most precious, and the deepest in meaning to my soul.

But somehow, somewhere in my life an imposter attempts to impose in the way of my worship of Him whom my soul loves. Have you have experienced this? Maybe you have struggled with the outward parts of who is projected, rather than the reality of who is inside. Or, perhaps, you have been afraid of what is inside and wanted to hide it as completely as you could.

How hard have we all worked to look a certain way? Clothing, makeup, manicures, Botox, surgery, and so much more. Color your hair, shape your body, fast, feast, antioxidants, get a great (fake) tan, avoid the sun, it’s all contradictory. Americans spend millions of dollars on their outward appearance–in fact, whole hours of television time are devoted to reshaping faces, bodies, and lives. There are so many kinds of surgeries, injections, creams and scrubs, it boggles the mind.

How hard have people tried to achieve a certain status, amount of possessions, the exact car, right neighborhood, or the exact spot they want on the Who’s Who List? Some folks spend their entire lives working toward those goals. They have big bank accounts, huge portfolios, lavish homes, and are seen in all the right places, or so they think. Frequently entire lives are built on, “What will people think?”

Others devote themselves to good works, academia, constructing great bridges or buildings, discovering great scientific cures or better ways of living life. Still others labor their entire lives to show that they are better than someone else, or that they have more or their kids have more or some other version of “one-ups-manship.”

Surely the Pharisees were in that crowd. One more prayer, more mint leaf to tithe, one more street corner prayer, and one more religious robe of the finest material. But Jesus called them a “whitewashed tomb.” He said, “You guys look pretty great on the outside driving your Beamers and your Mercedes, and you have those finely worded prayers down pat. Your skin, hair and nails are perfect. You are always cool, calm, and collected on the outside.

But on the inside you reek. You are a hollow, empty, burned out core, blackened, frightened and useless to God and those around you. You are terrified that others might learn who you really are and not like you, so you pretend that you have it all together. There is such pride in you because others look “up” to you. Take a hike! My Father sees you from the inside out. He knows your heart and the wickedness of it, so don’t bother trying to get into heaven.”

And sometimes I wonder, “Is that me, God? What’s in there for You? How much time do I spend on buying clothing, putting on makeup, getting my hair done, making sure my house looks nice, driving my new car with the moon-roof up? What do You see in my heart?”

In the quiet times I ask Him, “How much of You is in me, Lord? On the inside of me, is my heart consumed with You? Is my passion for Your? Do I love others because You do? Or because I want them to love me back? Do I hunger and thirst for You? Am I clean inside, ready to serve You? Oh Lord God, how much of me is focused on You, or am I all focused on me? How much time does my earthly brain spend on worrying about all the stuff that You said that You would take care of? Why is it that I think that I can fix anyone or anything? Can I change the course of my life, the lives of my children or my grandchildren? Can I change even one gray hair?”

Then suddenly I realize that she’s back, the imposter. That outside fraud who covers so well with all of the trappings of this world, the lovely home, the well-dressed, well-manicured, perfectly made-up her. There she is again, superwoman, wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, mother-in-law, aunt, grandmother, employee, writer, volunteer, needlewoman, musician…the list seems endless. Yet every moment that she is present is a moment lost for Jesus Christ, for every moment she is present, He is pushed farther and farther to the background of her life.

Thankfully, as He fills more and more of me, those times grow shorter or at least the awareness is clearer and comes more quickly. I don’t want to simply be an empty shell, saying I am a lover of Jesus Christ, and looking great on the outside––but filthy, dark and empty on the inside. My heart cries out, “I don’t want to be that whitewashed tomb! Help me, Lord!”

At this Easter time–the time we pause and celebrate the holiest time of our year–we must remember to not let the imposters be present. Jesus was fully present in those days and hours leading up to His death. He was completely Man and God, totally present, wholly offering Himself for you and me. He emptied Himself for each one of us before we ever drew a breath, knowing us before we were conceived, saving us even before we had ever sinned.

He was real for me, I want to be authentic for Him.

Copyright 2006 by Desiree L.M. Pheister

Desirée L.M. Pheister is a member of Eastside Foursquare Church and lives in Portland, Oregon. You may reach her at: marrion8955@yahoo.com